A Christmas Eve Letter to Nurses

Nursing doesn’t pause for the holidays — and neither do the emotions that come with this work.

In this special Christmas Eve episode of Nursing Lyfe 101, Christopher steps behind the mic solo for a reflective, Office Hours–style letter to listeners. This episode is for nurses who are working the holidays, nurses who are off but still carrying work home, and nurses who are trying to close out the year without losing themselves in the process.

Together, we explore the unseen layers of nursing — emotional labor, moral residue, boundary guilt, and sustainable ambition — and why rest, reflection, and presence matter just as much as productivity.

No quizzes. No rushing. Just an honest conversation for the nurses who keep showing up.

From both Christopher and Colby, thank you for being here — and for being you.

If this resonates, share it with a colleague, subscribe for more grounded conversations about nursing life, and leave a review to help others find it. Your presence matters more than you know.

Chapters

• 0:09 A Different Kind Of Class
• 0:40 Nursing Doesn’t Pause For Holidays
• 2:47 Choosing A Letter To Nurses
• 5:08 The Weight Of Holiday Shifts
• 7:12 Naming Emotional Labor
• 9:32 Grief At The Bedside
• 11:42 When Presence Is The Treatment
• 14:57 Moral Residue And Its Linger
• 18:10 Boundaries Without Guilt
• 21:05 Reflection As A Professional Skill
• 24:07 Lessons From Management And Care
• 28:15 Becoming And Sustainable Ambition
• 29:58 Gratitude And Closing Thoughts

Transcript

Christopher: 0:09

Welcome to Nursing Life 101. The most important nursing class you never got to take in nursing school. I'm Christopher. Tonight's episode is a little different. Colby couldn't be here to record with me, but this conversation still felt important enough to have. Especially on Christmas Eve. And even though I'm solo behind the mic, this message reflects the heart of this podcast and the conversations Colby and I care deeply about having with you. Nursing doesn't pause for the holidays. Some of you are listening on your way into a shift. Some of you are coming off of one. And some of you are sitting in your car taking a very, very deep breath before walking into a room full of people who don't quite understand what this job asks of you. I wrestled on what I was going to do. Was I going to do something that gave you an immediate insight into management's brain? Was I going to tell you the things that I hear at the water cooler? Or even was I going to be the crazy fun uncle that was going to give you fun story times? None of those felt right. Especially for an episode being released on Christmas Eve. So tonight, instead of our usual format, this episode is a letter. A letter to you. Just like those 101 class hours, office hours sessions that you had in school or still having right now. You are showing up. Sounds cliche, doesn't it? But think about it. You are the one doing the work. A lot of the times we tend to reflect on the negative. But in this situation, I want you to forget the negative, forget the missing out. And I want to focus on the positive. I want to focus on you showing up and helping to find that way of being empowered. Nursing during the holidays carries a different kind of weight. The units can feel quieter in some ways, but emotionally heavier in others. Patients are more aware of what they're missing. Families feel the absence more sharply. And often nurses become the emotional anchor in those moments. As you are the emotional anchors for others, you are still struggling with all the things that you personally are going through. Be it missing of opening gifts with the family on Christmas Day. Or something that hits a little closer to home for me. Maybe you are grieving the loss of your loved one. And this is the first holiday that you are celebrating without them. This is where I want to name something we don't talk about enough in nursing. It's called emotional labor. Emotional labor is the work we do to manage our own emotions while also holding space for someone else's, often without it being acknowledged even as work. In nursing, emotional labor looks like staying calm when someone else is panicking. You can remember that time. You can probably even remember the time being kind when someone is grieving, and even more difficult when someone's angry, maybe even yelling at you, accusing you of not doing the right thing. Emotional labor is continuing to show up with compassion, even when you're exhausted yourself. During the holidays, emotional labor increases because nurses often become the stand-in for comfort, the stand-in for reassurance, and probably the hardest, the stand-in for stability, especially when families can't be present. I am not sure I mentioned this in the podcast before. But like I mentioned earlier, tonight is all about honesty. I started my career in October of 2019. Literally two weeks after my mom died. I remember when some of the patients reminded me of my mom, and I would have to leave the unit a minute, catch my breath, refocus. I remember when I had a tour of the oncology unit, and I passed the bell that patients rang when they were able to leave the unit because they were finished with their last treatment and were deemed cancer free. And to bring it back to the importance of this time of year, I very much remember that the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas, and the first New Year's. Even the first birthday I had without my mom calling me. Back then, it wasn't easy. Even now, there are moments that catch me off guard. But I continue to do the work and am continuing to do the work. And here's the part I want you to hear. And if there are only a couple of things you remember throughout this podcast tonight, try to make this be the one, one of the ones that you remember. Just because emotional labor is not charted does not mean it isn't real. If you leave a shift feeling emotionally tired, but can't quite explain why, guess what? That's not weakness, that's work. Sometimes the most important thing you do on a holiday shift isn't a medication or a task. I know many of you are pushing epi or given insulin or turning a patient because you're trying to prevent bed sores. Those are important things. But once again, sometimes the most important thing is that you're present. A lot of the times, your presence is more than what we give it credit for. If you're like me, sometimes even a couple of days ago to two weeks ago, you're replaying a decision you made. A moment where you wonder if you said the right thing, or even if you did enough. You know what? There's a name for that too. It's called moral residue. Moral residue is what's left behind when you make the decision that you can make. But even if that decision is the best decision you have, it still doesn't feel good. It happens when you know what the right thing is. But unfortunately, circumstances like staffing, like policies, like time, like resources, don't allow you to fully act on it. It's tough. It weighs on you. So even though you did nothing wrong, that discomfort, it lingers. And if you allow it to linger too much, it festers. And it invades your everyday life. Moral residue is why nurses replay moments. It's why it's hard to turn work off. It's why you can be physically home, but emotionally still at the bedside. And I want to say this clearly. Filling moral residue does not mean you failed. It means you care. Another layer of this, especially around the holidays, is boundary guilt. Boundary guilt is the discomfort we feel when we protect our own well-being in a profession that teaches us to put others first. But remember, boundaries aren't walls. They're guardwells. They're what allow you to keep going. Just like a bowling alley with their guardwells up helps guide you to the right direction. I say all of this to you because this is the hardest part for me. As you all are aware, I'm constantly saying yes. Doing the next thing. Luckily, I am not burned out. I am still trucking. But I have seen so many people fall prey to two things. The first, making boundaries that are walls. This prevents you from growing, from seeking out opportunities for advancement, for setting yourself in a better position than you would be in. This can show up as being reluctant to be involved in a unit from receiving and giving feedback that is valuable. And the one that makes everyone cringe, leaving a mess for the oncoming chef just because you need to make sure you clock out at nineteen hundred. Or the second thing I see, not making boundaries at all. Or having very, very loose boundaries. This leads to burnout. Every single one of you have seen a candle. And just like a candle slowly dwindles as the fire travels down the wick, so does your resilience if you do not find a way to recharge and renew yourself. Remember, rest is not a reward you earn by suffering enough. Rest is maintenance. Before we keep going, I want to pause for a moment. If you're able, think about three things. Maybe take some time to write them down. Say them out loud in a voice memo. Or talk about them with a couple of your nursing friends. Heck, it can be any friend. Those three things are number one, one thing nursing taught you this year. Number two, one thing you're still learning. And number three, one thing you're ready to leave behind as this year ends. Reflection isn't indulgent. It's a professional skill. So what are my three things you ask? Well, continuing along the lines of honesty, here they are. Number one, the one thing nursing taught me this year, no matter how hard I try, there will always be someone that doesn't see eye to eye with me. And it is strength in both parties to recognize that if this is the case, patient care can never suffer from it. One thing I'm still learning. As many of you know, I've been in management for a couple years now, but I'm still learning the art of management. I am very much a boots on the ground kind of management style. But I have to remember there are things that only I can do that will help my team and trickle down, also help the patients that my team helps out, and I can't allow those to slip because then my team isn't cared for. And think about it. Just like I said in season one, as you add on more weights, it gets heavier. Why do you want to carry something heavy when you can reflect and lose some of that weight? When we do reflect, we decide what stays and what we set down. So what are you setting down this year? As the year closes, I don't want you measuring yourself by productivity or promotions or how much you should have done. Instead, I want you to ask a very, very quiet question. Am I still becoming? I had to take a moment and think about the word becoming and remember what the definition is for that. And as a noun, becoming means the process of coming to be something, or of passing into a state. This leads me to sustainable ambition. It means growth that doesn't require you to burn yourself down to move forward. Not every season is for pushing harder. Some seasons are for stabilizing, for integrating, most importantly for healing. You don't need a new version of yourself. You need a supported one. As we wrap up tonight's class session, thank you. Thank you for trusting us and letting Nursing Life One O One be part of your journey. Colby and I built this podcast for moments like this. Wherever you are this Christmas Eve, be it on shift, be it at home, or be it somewhere in between, know that you are seen. From both of us, we are grateful for you. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and as always, class dismissed.